One Day At A Time
by what-is-a-social-life
Summary: He takes it day by day, because how else do you handle being the only one left? [Inconsistent updating; see profile for details]
1. November First

_November 1, 1981_

It is most definitely the worst day of his life.

He blames himself for not noticing it in Sirius earlier. As his friends had started to settle into their lives and even, dare he say it, become _happy_ , he had become reclusive, and, while he hoped none of them had noticed, he could not deny how Sirius had begun to look at him after Marlene died in August. The life of a werewolf was a lonely one, and while he knew that, he could not deny how James, Sirius, and Peter had begun to make him think otherwise.

But then James and Lily had married, and only a few days later Lily discovered she was pregnant. James had come out for full moons less and less.

And that was when Sirius and Marlene had started to get serious. Well, they were already pretty serious, but things changed. They moved in together, which had surprised everyone. They'd said it would simply be easier on everyone if they were always in the same place. Sirius was always present at full moons. At least, he was until June of this year, when suddenly Sirius had become overprotective of her. Marlene he'd never seen look scared before, but before every battle, every mission, every _Order_ meeting she looked terrified. She always looked like there were words on the tip of her tongue that she couldn't say. The two couldn't keep their hands off each other, especially Marlene, who looked like she wanted to jump Sirius every time he entered a room.

Sirius missed his first full moon.

And in August, after Marlene had died, at her funeral, Lily had gotten Sirius to tearfully admit that Marlene had been pregnant, with twins, and apparently they'd all missed her growing baby bump- except maybe Lily, who had known as long as Sirius had, if not longer, and all that summer's strange behavior had started to add up.

Sirius missed another full moon.

It was nauseating to think about now. There was no way Sirius would become a spy for Voldemort _after_ he had killed Marlene and their children, which meant that he must have sold her and her family out. It would make sense as to why they didn't announce the pregnancy, and why Sirius hadn't gone with her to her parents' house the night they were all killed.

And Peter, too, had started to seem happy. Peter had always had his eye on Emmeline Vance, and they'd gotten together in the spring after Marlene had literally pushed their heads together at a nobody-died-this-time party Dorcas had hosted. He'd started to miss full moons, too, and then he'd disappeared all together. His father was very sick with cancer, the same thing that had killed Lily's father, so Remus had understood.

But now, now it was 10:46 at night on November first. James and Lily had been dead for over twenty-four hours, because Sirius, their Secret-Keeper, had betrayed them to Lord Voldemort. Remus had learned that afternoon that Sirius had been taken to Azkaban without trial for killing twelve Muggles and Peter in an explosion, and for being a Death Eater. The most they could find of Peter was his finger.

Remus had sat numb for over an hour, wondering how the hell this had all happened. Sirius had _left his family_ , for God's sake, for not believing in pureblood ideology. And the fact that _Peter_ thought he could take on Sirius made him uneasy. Peter is- _was_ \- a good wizard, but Sirius was better, and they'd all known it. Even angry, Remus didn't think Peter would have ever done that, and most definitely not without consulting Remus first.

None of it makes sense in his head, yet at the same time, it does.

At least he knows Harry is safe, as Dumbledore had told him in a letter that he had received earlier. As much as he wishes he could, he knows that he cannot look after Harry, not with his condition and economic state, as he knows that money from the Potters, which he'd always hated taking, is no longer an option. His mother had died in a car crash in January and while he knows he probably _should_ live with his father just to have someone check in on Lyall, he can't. His parents had sacrificed much for him for six years, and he refused to let them do it any longer.

And so he goes to sleep that night with a thousand thoughts swirling in his mind, counting down the days to the next full moon (Ten) on his calendar. It will be the first one where he knows that no one's coming, and it makes him feel like a First Year again.

He falls into a restless sleep full of Dark Marks and laughing, smiling faces on the Hogwarts grounds.

Lily, her red hair flying behind her in the wind, laughing at James as he tries to catch the Snitch he'd stolen from the Quidditch supplies.

James, a blush on his cheeks at Lily's laughter, his hand finally capturing the Snitch and holding it up in victory before proceeding to snog his girlfriend.

Peter, tearing a piece of parchment off the scroll before proceeding to ball it up and throw it at the back of James's head, telling them to get a bloody room, and preferably not their dorm, because Peter was not in the mood to do washing.

Sirius, beside him, flat on his back, snoring loudly, as he'd fallen asleep on the grass after a long night polishing trophies for Filch.

Marlene, straddling him as she draws on every inch of his exposed skin with a quill, her way too long blonde hair almost smacking Remus in the face when the wind picks up again.

And little Harry, on his first birthday, riding around on the toy broom Sirius had bought him with chocolate cake and Gryffindor red frosting covering his face.

When he wakes up a half hour later to go to the bathroom, he's not too surprised to find his face very, very wet.

* * *

 **A/N: This is really just to gauge interest. This would be updated sporadically, but I promise it would be finished, and it would cover Remus through the month of November.**


	2. November Second

**DISCLAIMER: It's called** **fan** **fiction for a reason.**

* * *

 _November 2, 1981_

When the _Daily Prophet_ arrives the next day, Remus chokes on his breakfast for a minute.

Alice and Frank Longbottom had been tortured into insanity by Barty Crouch Junior and Bellatrix, Rabastan, and Rodolphus Lestrange.

What would happen to Neville?

That reminds him.

Where's Harry?

He knows that Dumbledore had sent someone to collect him, and that he's safe, and that he's the Boy Who Lived, but where, exactly, is he? Hogwarts? The Ministry? St. Mungo's? Though, considering there are still Death Eaters on the loose, maybe he'd been sent to the Muggle world. He would be safer there, that's for sure.

If either of James and Lily's parents were still around, he would go there first. Euphemia had retired from being an Auror once she became pregnant with James and Remus knew that she would have died to defend Harry, Fleamont as well, though Remus always had trouble imagining the short, pudgy wizard as a former Duelling champion and someone who would've readily battled Death Eaters if he didn't have a family to think about. Due to becoming friends with Lily later in his Hogwarts years, he'd only met her father when he was battling cancer (Not the best image to have of a man) and he'd never met her mother, who'd died right around Halloween of their second year, but if they were anything like their youngest daughter, then they would have defended Harry as strongly as she did.

Did Petunia even know what had happened?

He shook his thoughts away. He had a job to get to, friends to comfort, and maybe even funerals to plan. He didn't have time to ponder these things.

 _Harry's safe, and that's all that matters._

* * *

"Ah, Remus. Thank you for coming. Miss Chittock, if you could please close the door behind you when you leave?"

"Of course, Professor," the girl seated at Dumbledore's desk said, standing. She looked familiar to Remus, and she had the Head Girl badge that Lily had often left lying around the Marauders' dorm pinned to her Gryffindor robes. "Remus, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry for your loss. I remember you from my first few years here. I know you were very close with Black, Pettigrew, and the Potters. And the Mckinnons and Dorcas Meadowes, as well."

"I didn't know Marlene's brothers very well, but yes, we were close. I'm just glad she wasn't alive to see what's happened. She would have killed Sirius herself, and done it, as well."

It didn't hurt to talk about Marlene anymore, not the way it had, though he knew it probably should have restarted anew, given the new developments of the past day. And Dorcas, well, he hadn't been particularly close with her, but her death had stopped hurting as well. Eventually, he hoped he could get there with the events regarding Halloween and the day after of this year, but he doubted her ever would. Of course it hurt to think about Marlene and the two little children that both she and Sirius would have gone to hell and back for, had they had them, but it hurt even more to think that Sirius had been a double agent _the whole damn time_. He had to have lied to them about leaving home; but they didn't even know the Order existed then, so he had to have changed sides. But when?

He had to stop thinking about this. If he went on much longer, he would start over-analyzing every single thing Sirius had ever said to him, and he doesn't know what he'll find at the end of all of that instead of more questions about what the hell had happened to his best friend.

"You wanted to see me, Professor?"

Even though Dumbledore had never openly said that Remus (And really the rest of the Order) didn't need to call him 'professor,' it's an understood rule that he and McGonagall would still respond to 'professor.' And being back in Dumbledore's office makes him feel like a student again, waiting to be told off for the latest Marauder prank with some praise always hidden inside it.

"I'm sure you're wondering about Harry."

"Among other things. Is he alright?"

"He's living with Vernon and Petunia Dursley."

Remus laughs in the headmaster's face until he realizes that he's not kidding.

"Is that wise? I never met Vernon, but he is going to despise Harry simply for his magic, and Lily often says- said- that her sister doesn't have a backbone. And their son is only a month older than Harry; he'll be tainted against him and they'll compete their whole lives."

"You sound almost like a parent."

"Well, he's lost everyone else."

"Petunia has agreed to take him in, and Harry must stay with her. You can visit, of course, but I don't know if they'll let you; I plan to have Arabella Figg move into the neighborhood to keep an eye on him if needed."

"Why does he need to be with them?"

"Did James and Lily tell you about the prophecy?"

"Not all the details. They explained the basics, of course, about Voldemort coming after Harry, but not much else."

"Lily was to be spared, but she refused."

"Because she would rather die than let Voldemort kill her husband and her son."

"Yes. Her sacrifice meant that Harry is now protected, but, since Lily is dead, only her family can keep the charm alive."

"So he has to stay with Petunia. What about when he starts Hogwarts?"

"I sincerely hope that going back for the summers will be sufficient, as I don't think we've seen the last of Lord Voldemort."

"But he's dead, sir."

"Is he? Where was his body? What happened to his wand?"

"Sirius took them, I'm sure."

"He was there, yes. He gave Hagrid his motorbike to take Harry to Little Whinging."

"Sirius gave up his motorbike?" Remus asks incredulously, his eyebrows disappearing behind the hair that fell onto his forehead. He loves that thing as much as Marlene; how could he give it up, unless it was to maintain his cover?

"Minerva and I were surprised as well, I assure you. But I wanted to tell you that Harry is safe with the Dursleys. And if anything changes, I will alert you the second I know."

"Thank you."

"I miss them too, Remus. I understand what you are going through. I- I am sorry I put all of you in so much danger. I need to apologize to all of you about that."

"We volunteered, professor. We wouldn't have done it without good reasoning."

* * *

That night, he hopes that his sleep will be a little easier than it had been the night before. Instead, he sees the Great Hall in all of its glory, as James with Lily's eyes and Marlene with Black hair and Sirius with Marlene's eyes sit side-by-side at the Gryffindor table. Neville is at the Hufflepuff table nearby, laughing loudly with his own friends. There is a gaggle of redheaded Weasleys at the Gryffindor table as well, and Draco Malfoy at Slytherin, seeming to be ignored by the others at the table.

 _Serves him right_ is Remus's first thought, but then he remembers that Draco didn't ask to be the son of a Death Eater. It's not fair on him.

His attention focuses on what must be Harry and Sirius and Marlene's twins. Harry receives a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ in addition to his letters. The twins receive some as well.

"Did Dad say anything about the Quidditch World Cup finals?" the girl asks her brother excitedly.

"No, Amelia, he does not," the boy replies.

"My mom says that we're all going together, with the Pettigrews and Uncle Remus meeting us there," Harry tells them. "What about you guys, Ginny?"

"Dad got us tickets ages ago," the redhead across from Harry replies. "Bulgaria or Ireland?"

"That's not even a question. Bulgaria, for sure."

"Are you kidding me? Ireland!" Ginny retorts.

"She's right, Harry," the boy says, "Krum is a good Seeker, but the Irish have better Chasers. Sophie says so herself."

"My sisters, nor my brother, are not a valid source of information on the subject of Quidditch, so shut up, Will," Harry tells him with a nice shove.

"Well, Ginny is, so why don't you listen to your girlfriend?"

"WILL!"

He wakes up suddenly then, with the image of Harry's content smile and Amelia and Will Black. Could this all really have happened, or was it a cruel fantasy that his subconscious had cooked up.

Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, he tries to fall back asleep, but all he can see is Harry, Will, and Amelia playing together as children, riding the Hogwarts express together, eating family dinners with their happy families. Apparently, Harry had two sisters and a brother in this.

He didn't sleep that night.


	3. November Third

**DISCLAIMER: It's called fanfiction for a reason.**

 **A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviews, favorites, and follows! They all make me so happy; you have no idea!**

 **This is a longer chapter compared to the others, which I'm very proud of.**

 **Also, happy belated birthday, Moony!**

* * *

He Apparates to Little Whinging that morning with a renewed vigor. He will tell Petunia and her husband that he is a close friend of Lily's, since saying James's name will likely raise red flags, and he'll get to see Harry, get to be a part of his life and make sure he's being taken care of properly, more properly than a werewolf with little money can ever provide.

At least, that is what he tells himself. Saying he's a friend of Lily's will mean that he will likely be turned away at the door, especially if it's Vernon who answers, but even if he doesn't get to see Harry, he at least wants to know if she's organizing at the very least Lily's funeral and, if so, where it will be and when.

The address Dumbledore sent him by owl that morning is tucked neatly in the pocket of the only pair of Muggle jeans he owns, which Lily had bought for him, James, Sirius, and Peter for when they needed to blend in on Order missions in Muggle areas. Just looking at them had made him want to cry, but he didn't think he had any tears left, and if he did, he wanted to save them for the funeral. Getting worked up over a pair of jeans he feels is a bit much. The only Muggle t-shirt he can find that doesn't smell like shit is a Rolling Stones one Sirius had given him for Christmas and, although he's strongly considering burning it, he has no choice but to wear it.

As he glances around Privet Drive, he can immediately tell that he's severely underdressed, and therefore he's going to make a bad impression with the Dursleys. He takes a deep breath, though, to calm his mind. He's going to make a bad impression regardless of what he's wearing, solely because he's a wizard. And, being a werewolf, he can handle prejudice.

He rings the bell of number four and straightens his shirt and flattens his hair, waiting for either Petunia or Vernon to open the door. Rather quickly, the door swings open and it's a girl that looks nothing like Lily on the inside.

"Who are you?" she asks.

"Are you Petunia Dursley?"

"No."

"Is Petunia here?"

"She's busy at the moment," the girl says after a moment's hesitation, which makes him think that Petunia's not there.

"Vernon, then."

"He's at work."

"It's about her sister." He hears a child start to cry and the girl groans.

"The bloody kid will _not_ go down for his fucking nap," she snaps, then glances at him in worry. "Don't tell her I said that."

"I won't." She looks back and forth between him and up the stairs to where the crying is coming from.

"You can come in and hold the bloody baby while I finish making my lunch; Mrs. Dursley should be back soon, but you can't be in the house when she is."

"Thank you," he says, stepping in. She glances around in worry and then shuts the door quickly behind him and pulls all the curtains shut.

"Her bloody neighbors will spill that I let you in the house if I'm not careful, so the more discreet, the better. You better not be a serial killer."

Remus isn't entirely sure what a serial killer is, but it's a phrase he's not exactly sure how to react to, so he settles for standing awkwardly in the hallway as she runs up the stairs.

"I'm coming, for God's sake!" she shouts. "Never have children."

"I don't plan on it," he mutters.

He hears footsteps on the stairs a few minutes later as the crying gets progressively louder. She dumps the baby unceremoniously into his arms before practically bolting into the kitchen as something in it- an oven, he supposes- begins to beep loudly.

"Moony!" the baby immediately says, his crying seemingly all but forgotten and Remus's attention snaps from the kitchen doorway to the child in his arms. "Moony!" the child- _Harry_ , he realizes with a start- repeats, wrapping his arms around Remus's neck.

He can hardly believe it, but things start to add up. Lily and James would never put Harry down for his nap so early, and, in addition to that, Harry's wearing the Halloween babygrow Mary had gotten him- which means he likely hadn't been changed in days, though, by the pictures over the mantle of the Dursleys' own child, he doubts anything the Dursleys own would fit the boy in his arms-, and his diaper's full, too.

"Um, miss?"

"Eileen!" she shouts over the shoulder. "Name's- ah, shit!" she yells as the pan clatters to the ground.

"His diaper seems full. Do you want me to-"

"Do you know how?"

"My nephew's about this one's age, and I help his parents a lot," he lies, though it's not quite a lie, since Harry is basically his nephew and he did help with him a lot before things became chaotic.

"Then please do; everything's in the cupboard under the stairs!" she calls from her hands and knees on the kitchen floor.

"Moony!" Harry repeats as Remus heads into the cupboard, where, instead of the boxes he's expecting, is a changing table and a playpen. Remus frowns at that, but lays Harry down nonetheless on the table nonetheless.

"Ssh, Harry, don't let Eileen know it's me, alright?" he whispers as he starts gathering everything. Lily had given Marlene, Emmeline, Dorcas, Mary, and the Marauders a lesson on how to change a diaper before she'd even started showing, making them practice with a sack of flour. Dorcas, the only one who'd been unaware Lily was pregnant at the time, had started freaking out when it was explained to her what was happening and Remus smiles sadly at the memory, remembering Dorcas almost knocking Lily to the ground and Peter, of all people, becoming incredibly overprotective of her very quickly, making James upset, as he thought that was _his_ job.

"Mama?" Harry asks quickly, glancing around the dimly lit room as Remus begins to go through the steps that he'd painstakingly practiced, both with the flour sack and with Harry himself. The flour stack, he thinks, had fidgeted a lot less, but it's Harry's word that smacks him back to reality.

"She's not here," Remus says slowly, because he's not lying; Harry just wouldn't understand.

"Dada?"

"He's not here, either."

"Pafoo?"

Remus's heart breaks. Harry hadn't quite managed to get 'Padfoot' right yet, the last time he'd seen him; the closest he'd heard was 'Foo' until just now. Sirius, that bastard Sirius, had been trying to get him to say it right for _months_ , and, of course, the first time Remus hears it, it's when he knows that Sirius betrayed his own godson for reasons Remus still isn't entirely sure of.

"No, he's-"

He's interrupted by Eileen rushing in, a piece of bread hanging out of her mouth, as she pushes him out the front door.

"What?"

"Once I leave, knock on the door; she's back, but went out the kitchen door, and she strikes me as a creature of habit, so I'm guessing she'll come in that way, too," Eileen replies in rush, her words somewhat hard to understand between both the speed and the chewing. Then she slams the door shut a little too loudly, considering Petunia is probably in the driveway right now, and he walks over to the lamp post, trying to hold in the tears he thought he'd run out of.

After a few minutes of waiting, Eileen comes out the front door, shoving some money into her purse. She gives him a small wave before climbing into her car and pulling out of the driveway. Once she fades from view, Remus takes a deep breath and stops with his finger hovering around the doorbell, remembering Lily and James's anger the one time he arrived without warning and the ever-increasing level of their security spells, the newest intensity he'd been unaware of, had gone off loudly and had woken up Harry, who they'd just barely managed to get to fall asleep in the first place. A doorbell might not be as loud as security spells put in place by Alastor Moody, but he thinks he's probably better off not ringing it at all. He knocks loudly on the door instead.

Petunia Dursley, he had discovered through the photos adorning the wall like priceless art adorning the walls of number four Privet Drive, looks nothing like Lily. Honestly, he thinks she looks more like a horse than a woman, and this is only amplified when he sees her up close.

"Do I know you?" she demands. Harry, he sees, has fallen asleep in a ball on the floor and he smiles at him before returning his attention to Petunia.

"I'm Remus Lupin. I'm a friend of Lily's."

"Are you here to take the child?" she demands immediately.

"No, Professor Dumbledore has said that he's to stay with you."

She tries to slam the door in his face at that point, but he grabs it before it can fully close.

"You don't have to let me inside, or even let me see Harry. I just need to know if you're organising her and James's funeral, and when and where it will be."

"Who else would? He has no family and Lily-"

Petunia breaks off her words immediately and looks like she's about to start sobbing.

"Mrs. Dursley, are you alright?" he asks delicately.

"No, I am not alright. I lost both of my parents and my sister in less than a decade," she snaps, and she quickly shoves her hand over her mouth almost as if she is shocked, taking a deep breath. "The funeral will be on Thursday at five o'clock. I will write down the address and then you can distribute it to all of your freak friends. I assume you can all act normal, yes?"

"Some of us better than others. Where are they going to be buried?" he asks hesitantly. He knows that Lily grew up in Cokeworth, and James grew up in Godric's Hollow, but they will be buried together, he assumes, so where will it be? Cokeworth, where Lily and Petunia's relationship fell apart, where Lily became friends with Snape? Godric's Hollow, where Harry was born, where they had _died_? Or Little Whinging, where Petunia now resides, where they will simply be two names on a gravestone, meant to fade into obscurity, though he knows they never will, not if the witches and wizards who bow down at their feet have anything to say about it.

"I'm going down to wherever they lived tomorrow," she replies stiffly.

"Godric's Hollow?" he checks, and she nods.

"Hopefully I can get everything organized by Thursday."

"You know that this will need to be a private ceremony, right? The war may be over, but it's far from complete. There could still be rogue D- bad guys out there, and if there are non-magical people there-"

"I don't think there will be. James has no family to speak of, and I'm all Lily had left. I'm afraid it will mostly be you lot, unless you want to take over and run the whole thing. But you won't, because I will not have you ruin my sister's funeral with- _you know what_."

He wasn't used to anything (Or anyone, for that matter) being referred to was "you-know-what" or "you-know-who" besides Voldemort, and he almost wants to laugh, but thinks better of it.

"Will you tell me the details, please?" he asks instead. She glances at him, disgust and slight pity in her eyes, before she scribbles something down on Muggle parchment and passes it to him.

"Don't come back here," is all she says before she shuts the door, Harry's emerald eyes slowly fluttering open at the noise the last thing he sees before it shuts.

He Disapparates, clutching the Muggle parchment like a lifeline.

* * *

 **A/N: Eileen is really not an overly responsible babysitter, is she? The next chapter will be up by the end of the month!**


	4. November Fourth

**DISCLAIMER: It's called** **fan** **fiction for a reason.**

 **A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviews, favorites, and follows! They all make me so happy; you have no idea.**

 **Also: I apologize for all the gigantic posting gaps with this story. I still have a rather rough idea of where I want this story to go, but I'm working on it.**

 **Again, thank you for being patient and showing any interest in this story. Without further ado, chapter four!**

* * *

 _November 4, 1981_

By Wednesday, Remus has come to the conclusion that he needs a job. And fast.

Everyone in the Order has a will, as does every Auror; according to Frank and Alice, it was one of Mad-Eye's requirement of being an Auror and was supposed to be checked over and/or updated once a month. He carried this over to the Order, and they were supposed to keep them in their cloaks at all times.

Except that had changed after Benjy Fenwick was blown to bits in early September, and his will along with him. From then on, wills were meant to be locked up in either your home or your Gringotts vault; Remus's was in his own vault, next to some of his mother's jewelry he kept just in case he was ever desperate enough to sell it. When James and Lily had gotten married, they'd combined their wills into one, and everything was left to James's parents and all their friends- some things were even meant to go to Petunia. When James's parents died, things were shifted around so most things went to their friends instead. When Harry was born, practically everything was transferred to him, with Sirius and Marlene as his guardians, which put a stop to all of Sirius's complaining about not getting James's broom. When Marlene died, she was simply taken out.

This will was sitting in their Gringotts vault now. He'd received an owl from Mad-Eye saying that he was collecting their will, Peter's, and Frank and Alice's. Remus hadn't replied, though he thinks James and Lily's will is pretty redundant now, considering their house was _blown apart_ and all they have left is in their Gringotts vault, stuff which contained stuff that was supposed to go to Harry, who was now living with his aunt and uncle, and Sirius, who had entered Azkaban the day before. Mad-Eye _knows_ this, too, so Remus assumes someone needs proof that yes, they actually had a will at twenty-one.

With that chipper thought in his head, he dresses and throws down the Floo Powder, heading for Hogsmeade. Even if he feels dirty about using his Order connections to try and find a job, even a temporary one, he thinks he's semi-justified. He's been living off of James basically since graduation.

When he walks out of the fireplace, he heads straight for the Hog's Head, ignoring Rosmerta calling after him. Dorcas and Marlene had always found Rosmerta insufferable during school, considering what a gossip she was, and he had no intention of listening to her condolences today. Even before they'd joined the Order, their group had always preferred the Hog's Head.

Aberforth glances up when he walks inside, but once he sees who it is, he scowls and returns to filling up a glass of butterbeer to someone sitting at the bar. Remus frowns and walks up to the counter.

"Did my brother send you, because if so, tell him to go f-"

"Is that necessary, Aberforth?" the barmaid behind the counter snaps.

"Fine," he says to her before turning his attention back to Remus, "What do you want, Lupin?"

"A job. A temporary one, just until I get back on my feet."

Aberforth laughs in his face.

"Can we talk in private, please?" Remus begs, glancing around at the company. Aberforth looks like he wants to protest, but then he sighs and leads Remus up to one of the rooms. "Sir, if this is-"

"It's nothing to do with the fact you're a werewolf, Lupin, if that's what you're worried about."

"Did your brother tell you about me?"

"I helped spread the rumors that the Shrieking Shack was haunted, you twat. Of course he told me."

"But it's not to do with that?"

"'Course not. You're not dangerous, at least not anymore than you are when you're backed into a corner against three Death Eaters."

"Then…?"

"You believe in my brother, and I won't hire any fools."

"I'm sorry?"

"If you hadn't followed my brother, where would you be right now? Where would all of your friends be?"

"The same place they are now," Remus answers strongly, "Dead. Or worse."

"You don't know that."

"Neither do you! But I do know that none of my friends would've been content not fighting. Peter had plans to join the Auror program, but only got an 'A' in Transfiguration because he was so nervous. And Dorcas only became a Healer because she knew that we were all too reckless to keep going on without one, so she stepped up. Marlene, Sirius, James, and Lily were all going to be Aurors, too, but they worked for the Order instead since they could start fighting sooner."

"You still think Sirius was your friend? He betrayed you. He betrayed all of you."

"He betrayed you, too," Remus snaps. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Dumbledore. James and Lily's funeral will be tomorrow in Godric's Hollow at five o'clock. I've already made arrangements with Bathilda Bagshot that you're allowed to Floo to her house. Wear Muggle clothing, if you please. Good day."

He's about to stalk out when a phoenix Patronus appears. Aberforth groans and _he_ stalks out of the room just as Dumbledore's voice says, "Remus, if you're available, I would like you to meet me and Alastor in my office within the hour." Frowning, Remus leaves the Hog's Head and walks up to the castle, the same path he'd traveled dozens of times with James and Sirius and Peter and all the rest of his now dead friends.

He has a feeling his thoughts are going to stay rather morbid for a little while.

Filch meets him at the door and scowls the second he sees him, but then lets him in and Remus heads right up to Dumbledore's office. Mad-Eye is standing outside the door, scowling, but he's rather used to seeing that.

"How's the new leg treating ya, Mad-Eye?"

"Cauldron Cakes," Mad-Eye says to the statue, and leads Remus up the stairs without another word, his new wooden leg clomping all the way up.

"Ah, Alastor, Remus. Come in," Dumbledore says. The two take a seat in front of his desk, Mad-Eye shifting as he tries to sit down with his leg that he's clearly still not used to.

"What's this about, Professor?"

"James and Lily's will. And, to a lesser extent, Peter's."

"Peter's?"

"Yes. Do you know where it might be?"

"It's supposed to be in his Gringotts vault. That's where he said it was."

"Well, it's not," Alastor retorts, "And an Auror team has already swept his flat, at his mother's request. Nobody can find it."

"I have no idea where it is, I promise," Remus says.

"Then that's settled, then. Everything should go to his parents," Dumbledore decides.

"What about Emmeline? Shouldn't she get anything?" Remus asks.

"I spoke to her earlier. She said that they broke up a few weeks ago, and anything that had been left to her would've been reverted back to his parents," Dumbledore replies.

"Emmeline and Peter broke up?" Remus asks, "Before his death? She said a few weeks ago? No one told me."

"Maybe they realized there was a war going on and it wasn't the time," Mad-Eye tells him sharply, though it almost seems like there's a sincerity in his voice Remus hasn't heard before.

It's… unsettling, to say the least.

"Maybe," Remus says, slinking back in his seat.

"And the Order of Merlin? His mother will collect it?" Mad-Eye asks.

"Peter's getting the Order of Merlin?" Remus says before Dumbledore can answer.

"First Class," Mad-Eye grunts.

That's when Remus starts to cry.

"He always wanted people to see he was brave," he says quietly.

"They know he was," Dumbledore answers. Remus nods and dries his eyes before sitting up.

"But you called me here to talk about James and Lily's will."

"Yes. I found a stack of letters with it, and this one was addressed to you," Mad-Eye says, handing over a rolled up piece of parchment that says Moony on it in Lily's perfect handwriting.

"Thank you. I hope to see you in Godric's Hollow tomorrow for the funeral? Preferably in Muggle clothing?"

"We'll see," Mad-Eye says, and Dumbledore smiles sadly at him.

"You can use the fireplace in here, if you'd like," Dumbledore adds. Remus thanks them and, clutching the letter like a lifeline, he Floos back to his flat.

He sets the letter down on his desk, but chooses not to read it until tomorrow. He'll be crying all day, anyways, so what's one more thing to add?


	5. November Fifth

**DISCLAIMER: It's called** **fan** **fiction for a reason.**

 **A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviews, favorites, and follows! They all make me so happy; you have no idea.**

* * *

 _November 5, 1981_

Lily and Petunia had become orphans at the very end of Easter holidays in Sixth Year, not even a month after their father's cancer diagnosis had been confirmed. Lily had organized the funeral herself, and invited him and Mary Macdonald. Mary couldn't come, but he was there. He watched her crumble.

She had worn black for the rest of term, much like she had for a large majority of Second Year, when she'd lost her mother. Black is the color you wear to Muggle funerals, so that's what he dresses in that day, even though that really just amounts to his Muggle jeans with a black shirt that he wears inside out on purpose to hide the large and crude designs on it, because of course that would be the only black Muggle shirt that he owns.

Other than Reginald Evans' funeral, Remus has never been to a Muggle funeral, and he knows a majority of the people who will be there likely have not been, either. He does not know what to expect.

When he arrives at Godric's Hollow, it is a small crowd. Emmeline is there, as is Dumbledore and McGonagall and even Sprout, Flitwick, and Slughorn. Mad-Eye is standing off to the side, looking slightly uncomfortable, and Elphias Doge stands beside him. He seems to be the last one to arrive, since no one else comes to join them, not even Petunia. That irritates him beyond belief.

The funeral ends rather quickly with a lot less tears than he is expecting. The professors, making their apologies, return to Hogwarts, and Slughorn, even if he's not teaching there anymore, goes with them. Mad-Eye and Elphias leave as well, both having to go to work, which leaves him and Emmeline standing side by side in front of the double gravestone.

"'The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death,'" Emmeline says, her Welsh accent bringing him back to reality, just like it had in every conversation the two of them had ever had. Lyall had worked with Emmeline's father, and had often called him the most English Englishman he knew, so the first time Remus had met Emmeline, her accent had startled him. He later learned that her parents had divorced shortly after she was born, and she'd been raised by her mother in Wales, where her family had lived for generations.

"Petunia picked it," Remus replies, staring at the etching, "I, personally, would've put something less morbid."

"I know you would have. Sirius would've put a giant 'fuck you' on there, don't you think?"

Remus can't help it, but he actually _laughs_ at that. It's the first time he's laughed in Merlin knows how long. Emmeline joins in, snorting, just like she always does. It's comforting, this familiarity he hasn't had before.

"Peter would've made him put 'politely' in front of it." He regrets bringing up Peter in front of her, but she just laughs and looks at him for the first time.

"You don't have to do that with me. I'm tough, Remus."

"I know you are. I mean, we're the two still here, aren't we?"

"They were tough, too," Emmeline says without skipping a beat. "Some people out there just… knew how to break them."

"Sounds about right." She links her arm through his and says with a sad smile, "Well, the funeral's over. I believe that means you owe me a pint at the Old Man's Nook."

"Do I?" he asks, a teasing tone to his voice that he doesn't remember hearing in months. "Well, come along then, Miss Vance."

He spins on the spot and they appear in the alley beside the pub that Dorcas and Marlene had discovered back during their Hogwarts days, when Dorcas had been visiting Marlene in Inverness over summer holidays and they'd gone exploring, only to stumble across this nice, secluded pub. They hadn't been to it until after graduation, but it had become their hang out away from the stress of the wizarding world. It was nice.

They walk in and the bartender calls out to them by name and immediately starts pouring their usuals and passing them over. Remus quickly realizes he has no Muggle money on him (Or even any Galleons, he notices sadly), but Emmeline seems to understand and pays for both of them before they make their way over to the hidden table in the back of the pub.

"Do you remember the time Peter got so smashed he started dancing on the table?" Emmeline asks sadly, seemingly stifling a laugh.

"And Mary went over to that Muggle juice box thing and started playing that Beatles song," Remus remembers, "What was it? Something about a color."

"'Yellow Submarine,'" Emmeline supplies, "It's one of my mam's favorite songs." They're both barely containing their laughter now.

"And then Dorcas tried to get him down, but he just threw a fit," Remus continues, on the verge of tears, though whether it's sadness or laughter, he can't tell.

"Lily had to Obliviate the bartender so we could come back," Emmeline says, full out laughing now. He joins in, laughing like he hasn't in months. "That was right after Alice and Frank's wedding, wasn't it?"

"I think so," Remus agrees, taking a sip of his beer. "Merlin, I forgot how awful this stuff was compared to butterbeer."

"You and alcohol," Emmeline says, smiling. "You've never seen eye to eye."

"Of course not. I'm much too tall." Emmeline burst out laughing, and Remus joined in.

"I remember wondering in Third or Fourth Year, 'Why are James and Sirius and Peter hanging out with Remus? He's not all that funny, and yes, he's clever, but how?' Then we had an actual conversation. And I realized how utterly stupid that was." Remus laughs, knowing many people had thought similar things, even Professor McGonagall.

"So. What are you up to these days? How's the Leaky?"

"Don't get me started on the Leaky," she groans, placing her head on the table.

"That bad?"

"The Leaky is just means to an end. I'll find something I actually want to do eventually."

"I thought you wanted to be an Unspeakable."

"They're not hiring because of the war."

"The war's over, Emmeline. C'mon, you've got a real shot!" Emmeline gives him a look, but sighs.

"Maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right. Top of our class, remember?"

"Of course I do. You beat me by three points." Remus laughs. "I hated you Sixth Year. That's when you first passed me, you know."

"I know."

"So what about you? You found a job yet?"

"Haven't started looking," he lies, casting his eyes downwards.

"I could get you a meeting with Tom. But don't come crying to me if he fires you if he finds out." He looks at her in alarm and feels close panicking. "Of course I know. I've known since Seventh Year."

"How?"

"Adrian and I might've made plans to sneak out. He hadn't gotten there yet, and I saw you and Madam Pomfrey and I overheard you two. Things added up pretty quickly, though."

"But you still-"

"Of course I did," Emmeline says, looking at him in surprise. "You aren't him."

"I kind of am."

"Not to me."

He stays out with Emmeline for the whole day, and all but collapses into bed that night, too exhausted to even dream.


	6. November Sixth

**DISCLAIMER: It's called** **fan** **fiction for a reason.**

 **A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviews, favorites, and follows! They all make me so happy; you have no idea!**

 **I hope you enjoy, and the next update will hopefully be around October 4!**

* * *

Somehow, when he wakes up that morning, he's forgotten. He stands up, smiling for once, sees the information Emmeline had given him with the best times to come by the Leaky and talk to Tom, starts to head towards the living room. The moon's coming and he feels stiff, and he contemplates going to James and Lily's to see if she'd be willing to make him a week's worth of Pepper-Up Potion.

 _That's_ when he remembers.

He spends the morning cleaning and making a list of what he needs to get once he has a steady flow of income. He eats a meager breakfast and an even more meager lunch, longing for Hogwarts food, where he didn't have to worry about rationing if he couldn't find a job before the money ran out. Dorcas, being Dorcas, was always willing to make him a feast and everyone else would feed him when they could, but all of those options are gone now, and he'd never liked doing it, anyways.

Though, he supposes, Emmeline's always an option.

He Apparates to Diagon Alley that afternoon and pulls open the door, the bell ringing. He's not sure if he's missed the lunch rush completely or it's just a slow day, but Emmeline is wiping down a table and waves at him, pointing him towards Tom. He's standing at the bar, bouncing a child about Harry's age in his arms. Remus walks up to him.

"Hello, Tom," he says, smiling politely.

"Ah, Remus! I've been hoping to see you for days," Tom replies. He rests his hand on Remus's, continuing, "I was devastated to hear. The amount of times you were all in here over the past ten years… just makes me sad to think that won't keep happening."

"It is," Remus agrees, "But it's the way things are." He gives a sad smile then turns his attention to the baby. "Who's this little thing? You're not married, are you?"

"Not anymore; my wife died almost twenty years ago. This is my granddaughter, Hannah," Tom replies, tickling Hannah's tummy. She giggles and waves her hand at Remus, who hesitantly waves back. "I have babysitting duty today while Caroline and Richard are at work, since you can't exactly bring a baby to the Ministry, and then Richard doesn't want her accidental magicking at his office and scaring all the Muggles, understandably. Isn't that right, Hannah Bannana?" he teases.

"Poppy!" she answers. Remus smiles at her. Now that he's closer, she's probably a few months older than Harry, but he thinks they'll be the same year.

"Wait, did you say her father's a Muggle?"

"Squib," Tom corrects immediately, "Richard Abbott. You probably know his brother, Mattias. He was in Frank Longbottom's year. I'm not sure if you know his sisters, though; one's older than him and then one's three or four years behind you."

"Oh," Remus says, because he honestly didn't know _any_ of the Abbotts. He hadn't even known Tom was a widower, let alone a grandfather. "Then is this a bad time to ask for a job?"

"Not at all!" Tom says, and Merlin, Remus forgot how constantly jovial this man is. "Emmeline, would you mind terribly watching Hannah?"

"Of course not," Emmeline says, setting the rag down on the counter and coming around to lift Hannah from Emmeline's arms. "Should we go clean the rooms? Yes we should!" Emmeline coos and Hannah laughs, reaching out to tug on one of the bright pink streaks in Emmeline's hair. The two walk away and Tom says something to the barmaid standing a little ways down the bar before beckoning Remus towards his office. He's reminded of his conversation with Aberforth days before and hopes this goes a little better than that.

"So, what are your qualifications?" Tom asks, sitting down at a desk and pulling out a parchment and quill. Remus, suddenly nervous, sits down in front of him.

"Um, I graduated top of the class at Hogwarts. I took six NEWT subjects- DADA, Charms, Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration, and History of Magic. I got an E on the last one, but I got Os on all the others, though I'm not entirely sure how I did so on Herbology. I worked for the Order…" _I'm an unregistered Animagus. I'm a werewolf._ "I'm a hard worker and I'm willing to do the more tedious tasks."

"Clearly; you took History of Magic. Caroline hated that class like you wouldn't believe!"

"My mum always says those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it. I thought, the more I knew, the less mistakes I might make."

"Interesting," Tom says, writing something down. "So why'd you take the other classes?"

"I wanted to be an Auror."

"If you wanted to be an Auror, then why aren't you? And, even more importantly, why are you trying to get a job at a pub instead of signing up for Auror training?"

"Alice accidentally told me about the Order. I came into some money and decided to do that instead, but that money's gone now and the Order no longer exists. So, if I'm being completely honest, the Leaky would be…"

"A means to an end?" Tom fills in, smiling. "It almost always is. Every now and then, there's a person who never leaves, for better or for worst. Your friend Emmeline out there, I expected her to be gone weeks ago. Of I think everyone that's ever worked here, the two of you I want to see leave the most. You're both going to change the world; I can feel it."

"Wait… I'm qualified? I got the job?"

"Remus, you're _over_ qualified," Tom laughs, standing up. "But you seem like a hard worker, and I need someone who can lift boxes and triple check the books. Besides, there's so many women around here. Maybe you'll find yourself a nice girl."

"Tom!" Remus says, scandalized, but the barkeep just laughs.

"You start tomorrow!"

* * *

Remus stays until Emmeline's shift ends, playing with Hannah in the back corner. He plays peek-a-boo with her for what feels like hours and regrets asking if she knew the game. Tom gives him some money to get her ice cream from Fortescue's and he's fairly convinced the little girl's dimples alone get her an extra scoop. Fortescue offers him some, but he turns it down.

Emmeline drags him to Gringotts when she's off to get some Muggle money for a restaurant, since she was starving but didn't want to get any pity looks. Whether she's referring to both of them or just one of them, he agrees.

They wind up at the Luchino Caffe a few streets away and neither is entirely sure what at least half of the menu items are, which doesn't surprise him about Emmeline, but he is upset about his lack of knowledge about food at Muggle caffes.

"So, I received an owl from Peter's mum last night," Emmeline tells him, holding her mug of hot chocolate.

"Really?" Remus says.

"His funeral's tomorrow. And then his Order of Merlin ceremony is on Wednesday."

"Wednesday? Why Wednesday?"

"I'm not going to argue with the Ministry about it; it just is. His mum wants me to speak."

"Really?" Remus asks, slightly offended but not surprised. Mrs. Pettigrew detested Remus for some reason, thinking he was a big troublemaker who would corrupt her child with sex and alcohol. Considering that was Sirius, not him, and he was fairly certain Mrs. Pettigrew _knew_ that, they'd never gotten along.

"Yeah. Said that I was the love of his life. Funny how twisted that is, isn't it? We were broken up when he died; had been for almost a month. I was only the love of his life because he died before he found the _real_ love of his life. I don't even know if I loved him, or if he loved me."

"Of course he loved you, Em, just maybe not that way."

"I know," she says, taking a sip. "So, should I speak, then?"

"Yeah, you should," Remus tells her, sipping his own hot chocolate. "You definitely should."

"Why?"

"Because I think you knew him best, believe it or not. There were things he would be afraid to tell us, but you… He could always count on you."

She reaches out and takes his hand. He doesn't let go.

* * *

 **A/N: UPDATED 9/24/16: Please see my profile for more information. You can access it by clicking on my username next to the story's picture at the top of the page.**


	7. November Seventh

**DISCLAIMER: It's called** **fan** **fiction for a reason.**

 **A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviews, favorites, and follows! They all make me so happy; you have no idea.**

 **Thank you all for putting up with the infrequency of updates on this! It's still November 7 for me, so have a November 7th!**

* * *

 _November 7, 1981_

He wakes up that morning feeling old. The full moon is only days away. On reflex, he prepares to send an owl to James asking to go over procedure, but he remembers. It doesn't break him like it might have a few days ago, but it still hurts him as he puts away the parchment.

Peter's funeral is today. Well, more accurately, his wake is, since it's kind of hard to bury a single finger. The invitation had arrived from Peter's mother last night with a scrawled apology for it coming so late- he's fairly certain Emmeline is behind it, but he doesn't mind.

He does the early morning shift at the Leaky Cauldron with Tom walking him through some cocktails that weren't on the menu, but people might still ask for. He makes sure to scatter in some coughs, so when he calls in sick around the time of the full moon it'll be more believable. Emmeline comes to get him when the shift ends and the two Apparate to Angela Pettigrew's house.

Angela is a witch Remus had the misfortune of meeting because of his friendship with Peter. Despite worrying about anyone corrupting Peter with sex or drugs or alcohol, she never seemed to realize she had the ability to do so. She'd been with multiple men despite being married to Peter's just as womanizing father. She smoked even more than Marlene and drank much more than Sirius ever even dreamed of.

She opens the door when they arrive, giving Emmeline a huge hug and patting Remus on the shoulder. He's gotten used to her hatred of him by now, but considering the coughing fit Emmeline has after hugging her, he's grateful to be spared.

The same crowd from James and Lily's funeral is attendance, out of Muggle attire now. It's a much easier sight to stomach than pitiful attempts at black, Muggle clothing. There's a man he doesn't recognize whom he guesses is Angela's newest man in her life, and Professor Pettigrew, though he supposed she wasn't called that anymore. He realizes with a start that she's one of the few professors he doesn't know the first name of. She was an Auror that had served as the DADA professor their final year at Hogwarts before the Ministry begged for her to come back and help them fight Voldemort. She had been his favorite one by far. When Emmeline is pulled away by Angela for some unfortunate task, he makes his way over to her.

"Miss Pettigrew," he greets, and she looks at him with a smile.

"Remus Lupin!" she says, pulling him into a hug. "And it's just Enid, please."

"Of course."

"You're looking rather sharp today; I'm impressed," she says.

"Oh. Thank you?" He's not sure whether it's a dig at how he'd been as a Seventh Year, when he would show up to her first hour DADA classes with his hair sticking up in every direction and his tie untied and usually with one of his shoes in his hand, or if Dumbledore had told the staff outside of Madam Pomfrey he was a werewolf and she was going off of her knowledge of the life of werewolves meaning to insult him.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't make the funeral; Death Eater trial, can't miss those! But I can't imagine how this past week has been for you, I remember how much trouble you and James and Sirius and Peter would get into, James being Head Boy and dating the Head Girl be damned! Euphemia's lucky she doesn't have to outlive her own kid. Angela's having the roughest time of it, and nothing Frank or I say can do anything about it!" Frank, he supposes, must be the man he doesn't know, though he is surprised that Angela isn't listening to Enid. Despite being sisters-in-law, the two are- or at the very least, used to be- rather close.

Then again, Enid's never had children, and Angela lost her only child before he was even twenty-two. Even he's not stupid enough to think that wouldn't scar a person or two.

"It's been hard. But I'm getting through it. We all are," he says.

"We?"

"Mostly Emmeline Vance and I. Do you remember her? The Welsh Ravenclaw in my year?"

"With the bright purple streaks in her hair? I do."

"She and I have been hanging out a lot since James and Lily's funeral. And it's probably best that you missed it- it was organized by a Muggle so everyone was in Muggle attire. I can't picture you passing as a Muggle."

"You've the right idea, then!" she says before full-on cackling at him. He laughs nervously, but is rescued by a loud, "Oi!" he knows belongs to Emmeline. He turns around and sure enough, there she is, standing up on one of Angela's dining room chairs that looks to be from the Victorian era.

"I'm Emmeline Vance, as you all know. I'd known Peter technically since First Year, but we didn't really get to know each other until we took Arithmancy together, starting our Third Year. We became pretty good friends. Remus says there's things Peter would tell me that he wouldn't tell them. Dorcas got us together, but it didn't work out. And now he's dead, so. That's my eulogy." She climbs back down and action slowly resumes. He's about to turn around and say something to Enid, but Emmeline puts her hand on his arm.

"Yeah?"

"Wanna get out of here?"

He quirks an eyebrow at her, which she apparently takes as a yes, and links her arm with his before Disapparating.

They arrive in some alley and he can hear music thumping from here. He glances at his watch- it's barely three in the afternoon.

"Where are we?" he asks.

"Some Muggle club Mary showed me. It's probably less exciting in daylight," she says, leading the way inside.

She's right.

They stay for hours. Emmeline gets completely smashed and Remus is reminded of the last bender she went on. He's fairly certain it had been after Marlene died, when he and Dorcas had been trying to keep an eye on everyone all at once. Peter had been visiting his father at the hospital when the trouble started, and he'd had to summon Peter to get Emmeline.

He gets her home and puts a Pepper-Up Potion on her bedside table. He gets back to his own flat and collapses on the bed, wondering what had been going through Emmeline's head today.


End file.
